20 Questions
We’ve all been there, you’ve gotten to a point on the date where conversation drags or drops for a moment and your mind starts scrambling for something to say, anything… pull a veritable rabbit out of your hat. After a few heart beats of silence you’re practically mouthing words “So, do you like…. stuff?” lol I’m kicking myself later as a million more appropriate and slightly more clever questions rush through my head, but sure enough… Awkward silence has landed and I just wasn’t smooth enough at the time to make her feel like its her fault. Experience will always be the one damn thing you never get until AFTER you need it. Well, experience I have now, and we’re selling it for free here @ coolinvancouver.com- SO, what HAVE I learned???
Here’s a list of what, in my experience, and very good questions to ask someone if you’re keen on figuring out who they/you actually are.. ie Date Questions/Back Pocket-Topics (DISCLAIMER: they might.. scratch that, the WILL ask you the question back so it may be a good call to have a few answers prepped- Either that or make a rule that once someone asks a question- you can’t reverse it, ie they have to make up their own) Anyways:
1. What’s your passion? (You probably won’t know the answer, and chances are neither will they not many people really do. There’s help for that- and the next question will help figure that out- still my fav question tho)
2. If you could be the best at anything, anything at all, what would you be the best at? (This question is good because it tells you what people are interested in or place high values on. ie- they say best actor/actress - ask them what they like about acting- {the fame-> they like/crave attention} - {making people laugh -> they enjoy improving the quality of life of others} etc -Everything’s a metaphor for something else.
3. “What is your colour?.. what color do you absolutely own?” Colour’s say something about a person, and its an easy starter question to get the ball rolling.. if you want the meanings behind each one look it up online. Either that or learn palm reading. Your call.
4. What’s your biggest hang up/biggest flaw? (NOT PHYSICAL, do NOT play that game)
5. Get them to tell you a joke, the dirtier the better. Pretend to be appalled by how depraved they are, then tell them a really lame one like: How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it. From now on, any time you say something that could be taken sexually you can tease them about having their mind in the gutter and you can pretend mock-innocence. It works in several ways: You make her out to be the one always thinking about sex, which is ironic because that’s the cliche guy’s M.O. (modus operandi for you clever chaps). Two, she might very start to role play and keep up the role you’ve assigned her to the point when it comes down to physical contact she might even believe it was all her idea or just be relieved that the pressure of seeming easy is lifted because you’re the one holding back. Three, She’ll be thinking about sex, and that’s usually a good thing for her to be thinking about when you’re around if you’re into that sort of thing- as I’ll mention from time to time.
6. What’s your favorite escape? (From reality) If she doesn’t really have one then you might very well be her little diversion and its time to come to terms with the idea that you either have an expiry date or a “stage 5 clinger”… proceed with caution.
7. Favorite Disney Movie? (Most of our conceptions about love stem from Disney and our parents- since talking about anyone’s parents extensively doesn’t turn anyone on, I’d stick with Disney for now)
8. Favorite Book as a Kid - While not many people read nowadays, everyone was forced to read as a kid. Feel free to substitute with tv show but I’m tired of talking about Care Bears.
9. One place you’ll always call home and why? (Identifies the atmosphere they feel most safe in)
10. Do you remember your first Crush? - Opportunity for fantasy fulfillment
11. One of your Top 5 Most Embarrassing Moments (Ammo for playful teasing later)
12. One of your Top 5 Best Moments in your Life (Sets the Bar)
13. Do you have any hidden talents? (lol Sexual or Otherwise)
14. Favorite Place in the World to Visit. (Everyone loves to travel, location may indicate their values if they travel much)
15. Name one song you really connect with. (Not many ppl know this one, but over the next week they’ll think about it, and if you’re lucky they’ll think about you too)
16. One word that describes exactly what you’re not. (Everyone knows what they’re not, and it doesn’t make the mistake of letting them categorize themselves and end up making an ass of yourself later)
17. One thing that you wish you were. (Insecurities/Hopes/Dreams- tread lightly)
18. If you could choose a super-power would you choose: Ability to Fly, Invincibility, or Read Minds? - Flight means they’re looking for adventure, Invincibility mean they’re looking for safety and protection (maybe they’ve been hurt in the past) and Reading minds = insecurities, they’re manipulative, or they’re looking for someone they can trust. Either way, you can tease them on anyone of these.
19. Greatest Fear (Fear gets mistaken for attraction.. if you know what scares them, then you know what button to push when you need to, not to mention that just thinking of that fear, especially if you paint them a picture afterwards can achieve close to the desired effect which comes in handy when moving on to the next question that is:)
20. On a scale of 1-10, how good would you rate your performance in the bedroom? -Its usually a good thing to keep the subjects of conversation skirting the edges of sexual reference, it REALLY helps the transition if you’re both comfortable with the topic when you get to the infamous third date when you’re supposed to be on the “Highway to the Danger Zone”. If you’re not comfortable with this one substitute with Gullibility. Most girls find it cute, and it isn’t sexually threatening.
This isn’t an exhaustive list by any stretch and these are not THE definitive questions you need to ask your date… just a few suggestions in case the conversation starts to drag or you’re looking for some insight. Feel free to experiment and improvise- just stay away from downer topics like death, suicide or cancer… and talk about politics or religion at your own risk. That’s my experience at least. Good talk, see ya out there.
;)
